Our Mother's Daughters

In the book A Girl Named Zippy, the author Haven Kimmel describes her life in Mooreland, Indiana, population 300. Her family is an unusual mix of much older siblings, a father who refuses to go to church but expects his daughter to, and a mother who attends Quaker church services for multiple hours a week but otherwise doesn't get off the couch. For all intents and purposes, the author hates school, church and any shoe gear.

In the second book, aptly entitled She Got Up Off the Couch, her mother receives a sign via a public service announcement on television and goes to college. She has to beg for rides, learn to drive, buy a VW Bug (this is in the 70's), learn to ride a bicycle with hand brakes, navigate her way through college classes full of young people and generally become her own person. Actually, she becomes an independent person, for the first time in her life.

I can't help but wonder how deep an influence this change in her mother had on the author's life. She went from a child whose mother was likely depressed, and never did anything for herself. She ended up with a mother who received undergraduate and masters degrees, later becoming a teacher. Her daughter developed a deep love for college while observing her mother in the environment, and later received multiple degrees herself. I would venture to guess these books would not have been written had her mother not gotten off the couch.

This makes me ponder what influence as mothers our choices have on our daughters' lives. The example I hope to set for my kids is this: even though you may end up staying home raising children (which is a wonderful thing to do), don't ever lose the ability to be independent, support yourself, and provide financially for your family should it be necessary. You never know what life may bring, and the ability to adapt can provide you happiness in and of itself.